Just Say No to Cake

But really, how could anyone say no to these eyes?
I somehow found myself in the position of modeling a cake after the still-elusive Wall-E robot from Disney*Pixar's upcoming movie of the same name. As the deadline loomed, I still wasn't sure how I would put together the dirt-covered, rusty creature out of batter and sugar, but where there's a will, there's a ... cake. A 7-inch-high cake.

In the end, my artsy friend Annie helped with the details -- as in, basically, 95 percent of the cake decorating -- and the bane of my existence -- er, cake -- was finished on time. I would not recommend trying this at home. We opted for no appendages because we just didn't want to deal. Hm. Do you see the resemblance?

...What? You don't?

Whipped Cream Cheese Frosting

I first made my red velvet cupcakes using this recipe for whipped cream cheese frosting. Light, airy and cream cheesy, the flavor and texture was delicious. We piped the yumminess onto the cupcakes as if dispensing fro-yo and the interplay between the flavors of the cake and the frosting was unmatched. Unfortunately, our spirals didn't hold up too well once they sat outside of the refrigerator for too long, even in the cooler air of a California winter. It is for that reason alone that I now stick to the very stable Sprinkles' Cream Cheese Frosting for my red velvet cupcake needs.

Still, this frosting was good -- fuller and richer than a frosting without the whipped cream. Use this frosting for any cake that will have a close relationship with the fridge.

Whipped Cream Cheese Frosting
(from allrecipes.com)

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese
1 cup white sugar
1/8 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream

Beat whipping cream until stiff peaks form.

In a separate bowl, combine cream cheese, sugar, salt and vanilla. Fold in whipped cream.

Frosts 24 cupcakes.

Shortcut German Chocolate Cake

I like taking shortcuts by using things like boxed cake mix because, well, it's easier that way. I will agree that everything tastes better fresher (when a good cook is involved), so feel free to make the cake part of this recipe from scratch by grabbing the original recipe from allrecipes.

But if you want a quick, impressive cake coated in a delicious frosting -- and only want to buy half the ingredients -- try my take.

Shortcut German Chocolate Cake
(based on allrecipes.com German Chocolate Cake III; contains alterations)

1 box German chocolate cake mix

1 cup white sugar
1 cup evaporated milk
1/2 cup butter
3 egg yolks, beaten
1 1/3 cups flaked coconut
1 cup chopped pecans
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 bar good quality milk or dark chocolate

Follow directions for cake mix and bake in two round, 9-inch pans. Cool for 10 minutes and turn out onto plate, parchment paper or rack.

Combine sugar, evaporated milk, butter and egg yolks in saucepan. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly until bubbling and thickened. Remove from heat and stir in coconut, pecans and vanilla. Cool until thick enough to spread.

Spread cooled frosting between two layers and on top of cake.*

Melt chocolate in a double boiler and drizzle decoratively over frosted cake.

*Double frosting recipe if you would like to also coat the sides of the cake in frosting.

Sprinkles' Cream Cheese Frosting

Yes, this is the same deliciously sweet frosting that tops those $3.50 cupcakes at Sprinkles Cupcakes. The cake maker sells a ready-made cupcake mix at Williams-Sonoma and prints this frosting recipe on the back of the pack. Eat your heart out.

Best paired with Shortcut Red Velvet Cake, or a finger.

Sprinkles' Cream Cheese Frosting

8 oz cream cheese
4 oz butter
3 3/4 cup (= 1 lb box) confectioner's sugar, sifted*
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/8 tsp salt

Cream the butter, cheese and salt in a stand mixer until light and fluffy.

Gradually add the sugar until incorporated, then add the vanilla.

Frosts 24 cupcakes.

*This is a lot of sugar. You can decrease by at least 3/4 cup for still very good results. After adding only 2 cups of sugar, you'll wonder, "What? Only halfway done?" But yes, if you make this recipe as is, all the sugar ensures that you can touch the frosting without getting your fingers sticky. Miraculous. Delicious.