L.A. Carnage

It was exactly 30 days ago and counting when I nearly sickened myself by, within the span of two weeks, consuming three expertly seared, bloody delicious slabs of medium rare filet mignon, an equally red marinated skirt steak and an In-N-Out burger -- secret spread, grilled onions and all. Indeed, it was all beef, all the time that really signaled my farewell to meat and poultry last month in honor of my yearly non-denominational Lenten sacrifice.
And it is beef that now -- three-quarters of the way through with this 40-day pescetarianism -- I am lusting after with pure envy. Oh, don't get me wrong. I would inhale chicken, turkey, pork chops, bacon, pancetta, Vienna-freaking-sausage this instant if it wouldn't, in fact, make my ears ring with that which shalt not be spoken aloud, even in my psyche's worst nightmares: "You are CLANG! a quitter CLANG!, lacking CLANG! in both resolve and commit-CLANG!-tal!" OK, OK, I get it.So I'll soldier on with my utterly mercury-laden diet of fish sticks, tuna melts, fried eggs and cheese for another 10 or so days. But be ye warned: The end is in sight. And more than poultry's versatility or the entire category's chewy texture, heft and solidity, I am specifically craving that juicy, oozing, dripping, scarlet goodness known only to beef.And when the clock strikes midnight on Easter Sunday, I will have my beef. And I will continue having my beef for days and days after, just to end this drasted challenge like it started. Please join me, while I drool:

Soot Bull Gim 2, Koreatown -- Rare, thinly sliced brisket dunked in salty sesame oil and shoved with a few leaves of lettuce inside a slippery thin rice paper wrapper. Marinated short ribs. Bulgogi topped with charcoal-grilled kimchi.

25 Degrees, Hollywood -- A thick ground sirloin patty dripping to the tune of medium rare and melty gruyere. Strewn with strings of savory caramelized onions and sauteed mushrooms before being capped and dipped on each bite into a creamy garlic aioli.

R.H. Garden or Miscellaneous Hong-Kong-style 24/7 Cafe, Rowland Heights -- Sizzling beef udon noodles. Sizzling beef. Udon noodles. Enough said.